Lou: Poker God Extraordinaire

The poker gods; who are they and how do I get on their good side?

I think these poker gods we hear so much about around the felt rule with a more swift and mighty fist than any god the Christians or Muslims could conger up. I’ve prayed many times to these ‘poker gods’ in moments of weakness. Lately, just one in particular though. I call him Lou. Lou and I have an understanding.

As in any god-worshiper relationship, the higher power knows more, but I feel sufficiently knowledgeable as well...
I understand that poker is all about the long run, and realize that, in that long run - I will witness some amazing circumstances. For example, if I am dead to a one-outer on the river - I know unequivocally that I am staring 1% right in the eye. Now would be a situation that I would call up ol’ Lou.

“Lou! It’s me, I’ve got a situation here. I know that I’m screwed, I mean really dead here. But do I have to bust for this guy? Give me this one! Please, Please, Please !! I had good intentions - who would have thought he would hold onto J-9 off?”

Lou’s pretty predicable right about now. In this 1% situation, he gives it to the prick with the straight about 99 times out of 100. BUT - every so often, let’s call it 1% of the time…Lou gives it to me. Right when I need it the most, just as Mr. Jack-Nine reaches for the pot, BANG. My one-outer turns the tables and I prevail.

That right, the poker gods are big on the math. Perhaps it seems sometimes like the river rats rule the world and chasing straights to the river are sure things, rewarding every schmoe around me.

But I know Lou too well for that.

Just because a shocking river-flush for example, breaks my pocket aces I needn’t worry. It’s not the first time and sure as hell won’t be the last, but on the grand scale I will win more often for every bad beat in the same or similar situations. This session today, this week, this month, this year and next - overall the numbers are my god. They are the only real truth in a game of bluffs, tells, and tilts.

It’s nice sometimes to think that by hoping and praying for that one card in the deck to come out, that it will. But all my prayers will need to be filed appropriately with Lou’s secretary whereas they will be addressed in the order in which they’ve been received. And even then - Ol’ Swift Justice Lou will simply do the math and move onto the next hand.

-Delik